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What is Decompetition and Why Does it Matter?

Take out a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left side, list all the positive things you have experienced in competition (whether in sports, in school, in business, in politics, etc.). These can include things like fun, excitement, challenge, camaraderie, and pride. On the right side, list the negative things you encountered in contests. These can include internal things such as stress and anxiety, as well as external behaviors, such as fighting, cheating, lying, etc. Then ask yourself the question: why does competition sometimes lead to such positive experiences and sometimes to such negative results?

Some people think competition turns bad when people get carried away; when they get too competitive. Problems arise, it is said, when people want to win “at all costs”. There is some truth in these statements. However, they are more myth than reality. And it’s a myth perpetuated by the media, like sportscasters, who like to brag about how competitive people are until something ugly happens; then they blame the culprit for being too competitive.

After years of working with athletes and coaches, I have come to a different conclusion about the sources of the problems that too often ruin competition. Here’s the key idea in a nutshell: there are two very different ways to think about the meaning, purpose, purpose and value of competition. Each of these two ways has its own very distinct (and highly predictable) characteristics and consequences. One of these two paths leads to results such as excellence and pleasure. The other will not always result in cheating, antagonism and corruption, but will still open the door to these negative outcomes. Unfortunately, most people don’t know that there is more than one way to think about competition. “Isn’t it just trying to beat others?” Not really.

The first path, which we call “true competition”, is based on the original meaning of the word. Please bear with me for a while as I’m just getting a little academic. The term “competition” comes from Latin roots and literally means “to strive with”. It is important to note that this does not mean “to fight against”, but rather to fight with. Competition is about striving with your opponent. A real competition, the competition allows all those who participate to push themselves towards excellence. When we are true competitors, the challenge provided by a worthy adversary and the effort we put in to try to win are valued because they help us reach the limits of our abilities. True competition is mutually beneficial to everyone who participates in it. Everyone wins by pursuing excellence and experiencing the pleasure that comes from vigorously pursuing a worthy goal. Of course, winning is more fun. But whether we win or lose, we win.

The second path, which we call “decompetition” (short for decomposed competition), is antithetical in the real sense of the word. Rather than “striving with”, decompetition occurs when we “struggle against”. The decompetitors see competition as a miniature war. They see their adversaries as enemies. The goal is reduced to conquering others. While the chasm between ‘striving with’ and ‘striving against’ can be experienced in a variety of quiet and subtle ways, it is still an immense chasm that is as wide as it is important.

Most people exhibit both tendencies to some degree. We can hesitate between being true competitors and being uncompetitors. But our failure to recognize that they are actually two quite different, quite distinct processes has limited our ability to understand when, why, and how negative behaviors occur in contest contexts. Of course, in this short article I can only hint at the profound differences between them and how to take control of mental processes at work. But I will end with an essential point.

If you’re interested in doing your best, if you’re interested in peak performance, and if you want to maintain your excitement and fun, real competition is a much more reliable path to get you there. There’s an old locker room mythology that “the good guys finish last”, but nothing could be further from the truth. Viewing the contest as a miniature battle promotes distracted thinking, lack of coherent focus, unreliable motivational patterns, unwanted stresses, and lack of adequate impulse control. True competition isn’t just about strong ethics, it’s about performance excellence.

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